This a third email that I sent to some supporters.
Hi guys! Thought I would update you again. This last week has been one of stretching and growing for me. I have had more new symptoms pop up which has really challenged me in my faith. It's hard for me to not just run to the internet and try to figure out what that means, but I have not done that. God has really been working on me to just trust Him and know that I'm in his care. 2 nights ago, I was overcome with fear about all of this and wept because I did not want to leave my boys without a mother. I still get teary when I think about that. But, as my husband prayed with me, I realized that Satan will use WHATEVER he can to destroy our faith and my prayer has always been that God will be glorified through this. He is not glorified when I live in fear. That fear came after spending an evening with my sister-in-law who's father-in-law (other side) has ALS - a disease that kills you in 2 to 5 years - and she told me to ask about it because my symptoms are the same as her father-in-law's. As I was reading this morning in Hebrews, I read this: Hebrews 12:4,5,6 - "In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son." " The chapter before that lists all of these people who acted in great acts of faith and then talks about Jesus' sacrifice on the cross. It put it all into perspective for me. I have not suffered as He did, and I HAVE forgotten his promise. Then, verse 7 goes on to say, "Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons." Wow! That gave me such a renewed sense of hope this morning. I do want this all to go away, but more than that, I want to have the right attitude in all of this and pray that I learn the lessons that God has for me during this time. Verse 11: "... Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Yahoo!
So, you're probably wondering what my new symptoms are. While my left leg seems to have improved a lot, I have developed a tremor in my head/neck/jaw that comes and goes. It is not always present and seems to show up when I've had too much activity in a day. I also have had a lot more fatigue lately and am learning how much activity I can do in a day. My voice is at times affected and I have some difficulty getting words out at times. I am still waiting for an MRI to address all of this. I am anxious to get going on all of this because I know how long it takes to get treatment started for these types of conditions (6 - 8 months because they have to rule out all kinds of things before setting a personalized treatment plan).
Here are my prayer requests:
1.That God's will would be accomplished and that I would be a good and faithful servant through all of this. I want to be a shining light for him, not a black hole that sucks people into my misery.
2. That I will wait patiently for the MRI and NOT be filled with anxiety as I wait.
3. That there will be an opening for an MRI in the near future.
I praise God for the joy that he has given me! He has been so good to me and I can't thank him enough for his loving kindness and patience with me. I have let go of going to university for this year and will be returning to the jr. high, provided I am well enough in Sept. God continues to show me his plan for my life and I look forward to the next piece of the puzzle.
God bless you guys and thank you for your support. Please feel free to pass these emails on to others if you feel led.